Lynsay Sands's Argeneau novels are popular among vampire lovers. I felt more than a little cheated. Though, this book was purchased for me, and probably not one I would have picked out for myself. It falls into the 'paranormal-romantic-comedy' slot, and I'm the first one to admit I have a hard time with these.
From the back cover:
Fate gave her fangs . . .
Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout
vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun,
and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she
saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper
biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in
the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who
could have his pick of any woman - dead or alive.He'll show her how to use them . . .
Rich, powerful, and drop-dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for
a novice neck-biter like Elvi. He's willing to teach her everything he
knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through
her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe - and satisfied - for all
eternity.
*cough*
Did we miss any cliches there? Nope, I didn't think so. To her credit, Ms. Sands can make even a cliche seem fresh. There were plenty of laugh-out-loud one liners, and the whole premise, though ridiculous, was pulled off in a funny way. Elvi ends up basically hosting a whole group of potentials at her house together, a la The Bachelorette. In fact, I saw many missed opportunities for some ironic situations, but that's okay.
The risk/conflict equates to some anonymous person shooting arrows. And I found the whole idea of how a mate is discovered/known (whether or not you can read their mind) contrived. All of the bachelors put it off until the most convenient moment, which just makes no sense to me. And in the end, the whole thing was just too cutesy for me - up to and including the other members of Elvi's community that decide to turn vamp, and the author wrapping several happy endings into one. Although I was tempted, I didn't quit. The writing was sound enough to hold me, but it wasn't my cup of tea. Two bleeding hearts.
